it is still the same...

Almost 9 months have passed... I thought I have let go and accepted whatever it is.. but I didn't. The disappoinment, anger, sadness, regret, urge to seek revenge etc seeped into my mind and heart without me inviting them. But i cannot do anything other than feeling sad--isolate myself--cry--self-psycho myself that all these will be over and one day i can enjoy the company of my soul mate just like others--feel better after few days. It is just a vicious cycle that I m still unable to break. Keep reminding myself that I have my family with me, so i dun have to feel sad at all. Yet, saying good byes is getting harder and harder as time goes by.. I start to hate the word "good bye"...it is just an english word that is meaningless when u said to a stranger, but it is a word which carries pain and tears when you said that to someone u love, whom again and again throughout the years u need to repeat that word to. I dun wish to say good bye anymore... I m tired and fed-up of  it. WHy me and why not others? no answer.
Is time to sleep. Tml wil be another day.

yenny