all alone...

Again the feeling of loneliness creeps in insideously... I just hate it, yet couldnt control it... It is a sign of stupid exams approaching... All i do is I try to numb myself with books... But sometimes when I come back to the room at night from library..sitting infront of laptop.. staring into it...and also into the books of course... occasionally wil scroll down my msn contacts just to see who is online...and also turn on skype and leave it there.. as if waiting for anyone maybe my cousins/ siblings wil drop me a msg... It is just so pathetic.. .I try not to stay in the room for too long... alone within the four walls swallowing the books.... I just feel not happy.. I just couldnt help it ... Many times i asked myself.. is this the life i want...the answer is no.. I swear to myself that once i passed out, i wil try my best not to return to such pathetic life again.. unless so called growing up can drill a person to stand loneliness.. I just wanna sleep... but 3 cases need to be done..I m not scared... i know no matter wat i wil have to write it by sunday all by myself alone within the 4 walls.

yenny