day by day...

Yesterday (14 Dec 2010) was my dearest' 26th birthday...Happy Birthday to you Darling...
However again this year we do not have the opportunity to celebrate it together... probably next year we will... *fingers crossed*..=) Because of the horrendous housemanship, on this day, I do not get to see him.. not even online... could barely chat for 5 minutes...I know he is really tired after work.. this year I do not get to wish him directly...
It has just been 3 days ... I already feel it... the impact... However I keep telling myself every morning.. be strong.. be independent... live today as it is.. it will be a better day... whenever i m tired, i tell myself the same thing again and again and drag myself up and continue my work regardless how the external environment is.. Tonight am supposed to finish writing my case.. but as I was lying on the bed just now after talking on the phone, again the feeling of exhaustion and numbness overwhelmed me.. I can feel my heart pounding... the heart really aches like a crying heart but it just feels so numb... This feeling is so familiar... I know.. I know it will go away after awhile.. with a little determination... It is just like when u were small, u fell down and hurt yourself.. but with a little coaxing from your dear mummy and daddy, u will stand up again...You might fall down again and again.. but with little support u are back standing up...However when we were small or I would say when we were well protected at home, we actually took all these support for granted... A person would truly understand the significance of "moral support" only when we experienced its loss at the time we need it most... To me, the word "moral support" used to be just a nice term for me to write in essays in school... only in recent years.. slowly i really understand how important it is to a person...
I shall continue my cases and sleep...the caffeine keeps me awake but i still feel tired...
Tomorrow will be another hectic day for me and darling..
Enjoy ur work dear...Take care...

yenny